What is Confession?

Lent is a time of preparation, and one of the ways we prepare is through repentance – a word which simply means ‘to turn around’. Repentance is not about feeling shame for sins, neither is it about self-hatred or loathing, but about transformation. Repentance is the act of acknowledging the ways we fall short in our love for God and for others, asking for God’s forgiveness, and turning away from the things that hurt us and others towards a fuller life and relationship with God.

The kinds of things we need to repent of aren’t bad or wrong simply because they are bad in themselves or because God keeps a ‘naughty list’, but because often the ways that we treat others or even ourselves move us away from love, and consequently away from the love that is God. Think of lust, for example: lust is something which makes us look at other people as objects for our own pleasure and gratification – it makes us use others for ourselves – rather than seeing them and loving them as God sees and loves them. When we fail to love someone as God loves them we are, in a sense, failing to love God as well. Repentance is about knowing our tendency towards such things and seeking to change so that we can love with God’s love.

Sometimes there’s things in our lives about which we feel ashamed or angry or guilty, maybe even things we’ve never told another living person. We all have things that we drag around like chains that we wish we could cut loose – often we’ve been hurt or have hurt someone and a relationship has become broken and we’ve never healed from it. We know, too, how liberating and life-giving it can be to share our burdens with a kind friend who will listen and help us.

The church gives us ways to do this with God – ways of unburdening ourselves of sin, guilt and shame, and finding comfort and new life through God’s forgiveness, reminding us of how badly God wants our relationship with Him to be healed, how badly He wants us to know His love for us. Every Sunday we confess together in the service of Holy Communion and hear God’s forgiveness proclaimed over us by a priest. But sometimes we need something more, sometimes it's not enough for us to speak and hear the words together, sometimes there’s more we’d like to unbottle from within our hearts and give to God.

This is why the church has also given us the opportunity for auricular or private confession. Yes – confessional booth, you and priest together in a quiet church, type confession.

My hope is that this post – drawn from sources written by wiser people than myself – might help you to consider seeking out the joy of private confession this Lent or at any time. 

What does the Bible say?

First, we should remember the necessity of God’s forgiveness and how we cannot find that ultimate forgiveness outside of God. In his Epistle to the Romans Paul writes that, “…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23), and John writes in his First Epistle, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9)

Jesus tells us in the Gospels that it is he himself who has the authority to forgive sins (Mark 2:10), but that this same authority was also given to the church. Jesus says to Peter, “I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matt. 16:19), and he says, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:23).

These passages tell us that the authority which Jesus has to forgive sins is an authority he gave to the Apostles and consequently the church, this is how we as Anglicans have received and understood this from the time of the reformation – that every priest at their ordination is given the authority to pronounce God’s forgiveness of sins.

What does the church say?

If you’re unaccustomed to the thought of private confession, then one of the things you may be thinking - and it’s a thought that many Anglicans would share – is that private confession is something that belongs strictly to the Roman Catholic tradition. Most often we think of little booths in the back of churches, side by side with a screened window between, the penitent on one side and the priest on the other side of the screen, and the penitent kneeling and beginning “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned…”

While this is not an inaccurate portrayal of confession it is not one that belongs exclusively to the Roman Catholic tradition. Many of the Reformers wrote positively about the act of private confession while at the same time eschewing some of the superstitions about confession that had arisen in the Medieval period. The reformer John Calvin wrote that if someone is so afflicted by a sense of their sins that they need comfort from another, then it is their duty to seek private confession with their pastor and lay open the wounds in their souls. Martin Luther also wrote that private confession is both helpful and likely even necessary for the wellbeing of our souls.

Private confession is not something you must do, but perhaps something you should do because it will be of benefit to you. Sometimes we talk about our spiritual well-being in medical terms, such as referring to Jesus as the physician of our souls, and while none of us must go to the doctor when we’re sick or when we want a regular checkup, we know that we should go to the doctor regularly to make sure we are healthy. We can say the same thing about confession and the state of our hearts, as the old adage goes (about confession), “All may; some should; none must.”

Isn’t it God who forgiveness sins?

In the first Book of Common Prayer, written in 1549, the service for the ordination for priests says that the same authority that passes to priests through the laying on of hands by a Bishop is the same authority that was passed to the Apostles by Christ. That service reads, “Receive the Holy Ghost for the office and work of a Priest in the Church of God…whose sins thou dost forgive, they are forgiven; and whose sins thou dost retain, they are retained…”

Private Confession is even still present in our Book of Common Prayer (Canada, 1962) in the service for the Visitation of the Sick, when someone who is ill may wish to confess their sins in the presence of a priest.

We should not confuse what is happening in confession – the priest is not forgiving you your sins, since the priest is every bit in need of absolution as you are, but rather the priest has the unique authority to proclaim God’s forgiveness for you. You receive God’s absolution in confession which you hear proclaimed by a priest to whom God has given the authority to proclaim His forgiveness.

What actually happens in Confession?

Private confession is a very private and intimate time between you and God in the presence of a priest, even the way you position yourself during the office reminds you that it is to God you are confessing, and not the priest who is there to listen.

If you are planning to make confession for the first time (or the first time in a long time) it is good to let your priest know and meet with them well in advance to talk about it and to be prepared for it. You might ask your priest to recommend a course of self-examination and recommend ways for you to prepare for confession.

If it is your first confession you should dig deeply into your heart and bring to God everything from your whole life – even those things you have buried most deeply but are in the most need of letting go of – to offer to God. It does not matter how long it will take, what is important is that you offer God everything.

When the time comes, you will meet in the church and, as is our custom in our parish, be asked to kneel in silence at the altar rail. Shortly after, your confessor (the priest) will come out and sit alongside you facing across the sanctuary but on the other side of the rail, not obscuring your view to the altar and cross. There is a brief service that guides the confession, but the majority of it is your opportunity to give voice to those things you are confessing.

When you are done confessing everything the priest will immediately pronounce God’s forgiveness over you and you will hear the very comforting words which remind you of God’s unquenchable love for you despite the things you confessed, and you will hear and know the forgiveness that He so desires you to have. Often we think that we have something that God cannot or will not forgive and we’re scared even to remember it or give voice to it, but there is nothing that God is not willing to forgive as long as we are willing to confess it earnestly, “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him” (Daniel 9:9).

Confession is not a counselling session but is something different, and so the priest might offer you some counsel (advice) based on the things you have confessed, but you should not expect it. You are, however, welcome to ask for counsel if you feel you need it.

Following this, your priest may offer you penance – instructions on what you should do, read, pray, or focus on to help you in times of temptation and to continue in your repentance and healing. Penance is not a punishment or a way of ‘working off your sins’, but simply things that you can do to help you along way. For example, you might be asked to pray a certain psalm or scripture passage and reflect on it daily for a time, or you might be asked to apologize to or forgive somebody. 

What happens after Confession?

What is confessed by you in confession is something you have spoken to God alone but in the presence of a priest. Nothing of what you have said will be revealed outside of that sacred time and it will be held in the strictest of confidence; in a spiritual sense, the priest has not even truly heard your words but only been present as they were given to God. A priest should not even address in a later confession something you said in an earlier one – what is said in each belongs to each, and the seal over it is sacred.

Our prayer is that following confession you will be able to leave feeling lighter, unburdened, and forgiven. It is an incredible and almost indescribable joy to truly confess all the sins and burdens of your heart and to hear God’s love poured over you in the words of forgiveness (absolution), and it is something that – while not necessary for every Christian to do – should be done by everyone. Make no mistake though – it will be one of the most difficult but also one of the most rewarding things you will ever have the opportunity to do. [1]

_

[1] Much of this post has been inspired by and paraphrased from a small pamphlet entitled Private Confession: A Handbook for Anglicans, published pseudonymously on Ash Wednesday, 2000, by ‘A priest in the Diocese of Nova Scotia’. Printed copies of the pamphlet are available by contacting our Parish.